Letting go of your stuck position

(relationship) by Susie and Otto Collins
Marlin and Dory found themselves in a whale's mouth hanging on for dear life, fearing that if they fell into the whale's belly, they would be eaten. Dory happened to be able to speak "whale" so she told the whale that they were trying to find Marlin's son and that they needed the whale's help. The whale told them to just "let go."

Fearing the consequences of falling into the whale's stomach if they just "let go," Marlin asked, "How do we know it will be okay?" The whale answered--"You don't."

This, of course, is one of the scenes from the Disney film "Finding Nemo." Although the characters are not human,we think this scene beautifully illustrates what happens in the lives of many people when they are "stuck" in their relationships and when they are faced with many decisions in their lives.

What we have found in almost every "stuck" situation is that there is either some kind of fear or an unconscious payoff that is holding them in a frozen place.

Many winters ago, Susie was driving down a very icy, steep hill and she found that no matter which way she turned or how slowly she went, her car slid sideways, blocking the road. Since she was afraid to move the car forward or backward, she just got out and left it for someone else to move.

We hope that this story gives you a visual of what can happen when you find yourself stuck in making a decision or in a relationship challenge where no solution seems to be "right."
So what might your "frozen place" look like?

A "frozen place" might be something as big as deciding whether to stay in a relationship, paying off debts or something as ordinary as holding fast to the position of "being right" in an argument.

We realize that in life, there are times to act and there are times to wait. What we are talking about is when you know that some action should be taken in order to move forward or even to heal a relationship. In situations like this,you may want to take action but are afraid of the consequences either way you decide. So you "freeze" and do nothing.

What the whale was trying to tell Dory and Marlin is that although they couldn't "know" that they would be safe before they let go, staying in the whale's mouth would not move them toward finding Marlin's son Nemo. Only by "letting go" could they hope to move toward having what they wanted.

We are suggesting that sometimes moving toward having what you want in your life takes letting go--letting go of fear, of anger, of needing to be right, of "what will others think" and anything else that might be holding you back from taking action.

Staying stuck may feel safe but it does not move you toward your goal. So, this week we invite you to try to discover where you are stuck in your life. In what area are you not moving forward?

Take some time to look objectively at your fears and discover if there are any you can "let go" of so that you can take some action that will lead you toward having what you want. By the way, Marlin and Dory were safely blown out of the whale's blow hole and they did find Nemo. It's our hope that you are able to have what you want in your relationships and life, as well.

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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are
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