joke collection – 27

Questions
A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.

• He asked his father,"How does this boat float?
  
• The father replied, "Don't rightly know son."
  
• A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breath
  underwater?"
  
• Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know son."
  
• A little later the boy asked his father,"Why is the sky blue?"
  
• Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know son."
  
• Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"
  
• The father replied, "Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'."
  

Traffic Stop
Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.

• "Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I
  had six or seven pints. And then there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o' those. Then I had to
  drive me friend Mike home and O' course I had to go in for a couple of Guiness; couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later." The man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection.
  
  
• The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car
  and take a breathalyzer test."
  
• Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me?!"
  
  

Having problems in mathematics
A ten year old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school.

After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face, and went right past them straight to his room, where he quietly closed the door.

For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room; with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room,closed the door, and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime.

This pattern continued ceaselessly until it was time for the first quarter report
card. The boy walked in with his report card-unopened-laid it on the dinner table
and went straight to his room. Cautiously,his mother opened it and to her amazement,she saw a bright red "A" under the subject of MATH.

Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son's room, thrilled at his remarkable
progress.

• "Was it the nuns that did it?",the father asked.
  
• The boy only shook his head and said, "No."
  
• "Was it the one-on-one tutoring? The peer mentoring?"
  
• "No."
  
• "The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?"
  
• "Nope," said the son. "On that first day,when I walked in the front door and saw that
  guy they nailed to the 'plus sign,' I just knew they meant business!"
  
  
  
  

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are
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Indo community