joke collection – 16

another sept 11 story
Seems this suburban guy left for work on Sept. 11 at about 6:00AM to go to his office in the WTC. When he got to Manhattan he went to his lover's apartment in the Village, turned his cell phone off, and climbed into bed with her.

At about 10:00AM, while still lying next to her, he turned his cell phone on, and a second later it rang. He answered, and it was his wife who screamed at him, "Where are you? I've been trying to call you for an hour.
I've been worried sick about you!!!"
So he answered, "Where do you think I am? I'm in my office!!!"
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Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing.

An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant-leg.
Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...
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A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he,too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll put you both in jail for contempt!
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Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime,
and never let go till we're gone.

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