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Friday, April 9, 2010

Expression in relationships


Silence is often believed to be the right way to rejuvenation and introspection. It is the best way to understand oneself and anybody else. Being reflective in nature, it helps in maintaining a balance in our day-to-day lives. It is a way to absorb the world around us. It is also a way to enjoy some of the finer things of life- like good music, for example.

Silence is often seen as the most powerful form of non-verbal expression in relationships.

There's this often repeated line:"If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." At times when you know you're going to hurt the other person with what you might say, its better to stay silent. Always remember a piece of advice:"Words are like arrows, once unleashed they can never be recalled". To prevent confrontations from escalating, its often a good idea to hold your tongue.

Being a good listener is also a lot about being silent. It is a sign of sympathy and acknowledgement. Many times, friends or partners just want to talk. They don't necessarily want the other person to ask too many questions or offer opinions or solutions- they just want to offload. At moments like this, it is better to shut up and listen- quietly.

But more often than not, while talking of human emotions, it is the negative aspect of silence that gets highlighted. The reasons are not hard to find.

Silence, even in history, has been one of the greatest weapons of either defence or a mark of protest. It has almost become symbolic with anger or indifference.

When silence is used to punish, to hurt or to withold affection, it can damage relationships.

So how does one really understand what a particular kind of silence from a particular person at a particular time could essentially mean?

For any relationship to last, it is necessary that silence is juxtaposed cleverly with verbal communication. Because more often than not,silence is perceived as hostile action, and a clarification is required for a healthy, accountable relationship.

Silence should basically be understood as a matter of temperament more than anything else and dealt with accordingly.

So how does one really use silence correctly? It's easy. The golden rule is to maintaining silence to calm yourself rather than as an aggressive tool. "Silence is a great healer. This does not mean it should be used to curb one's frustrations or anger. It is simply a method to buy time and space for some introspection.

SILENCE SHOULD RELIEVE STRESS, NOT ADD TO IT. SO WHEN NECESSARY, ABANDON IT.

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smile4life

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