Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words.

• Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
  
• Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
  
• Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either
  
• Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  
• Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
  
• Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power
  
• Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
  
• Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
  
• Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  
• Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  
• Committee :Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
  
• Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
  
• Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
  
• Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
  
• Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
  
• Father : A banker provided by nature.
  
• Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
  
• Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
  

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