joke collection – 186

drinking

The Irishman was brought up before the judge.
"Why were you drunk" ,' the judge asked.
'I was on a train with bad companions. Four teetotallers.'
'They are the best company you can have.'
'I don't think so. I had a bottle of whiskey and had to drink it all by myself.,

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The doctor put Patrick through a lot of tests because of a paralysis in his legs. 'Look, Doc,' said Patrick. Place a glass of whiskey on the table over there. If I don't make it I'm helpless.'

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When I drink, everybody drinks!' yelled a man in the tavern as he summoned everyone to the bar. When he finished his whisky, he shouted again, 'When I take another drink, everybody takes another drink!'
Again, everybody gratefully drank up. When the man downed his second drink, he took two dollar bills out of his wallet and slapped them down on the bar. 'When I pay,' he bellowed, 'everybody pays!'

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'You expect the court to be lenient because you've been brought in on drunk and disorderly charges twenty times?' 'Yes, Your Honour. I want to be treated like a steady customer.'
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If we want a love message to be heard, it has to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.
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