8 Things Men Want More Of (Besides Hot Sex)

(about men) BY DAN BOVA

Listen in as husbands reveal what they crave most. Then use their info to make your man downright delirious tonight! Turn and look at your hubby right now. In all likelihood he's sitting in front of the TV, happily watching a sitcom, and -- oh dear, turn away --he's scratching himself. Sorry you had to see that.

But back to his merry mood: What is the source of all that inner happiness he's radiating? Is it the rerun of Three's Company he's watching? Actually, his cheerful state is not the product of Mr. Furley's antics but instead is inspired by the little things you do that make his day. What kinds of things?

We got tons of guys to turn off the tube for a minute (okay, some of them only turned down the sound) and confess the things they love most and want even more of from you. The very best thing about these happy-hubby tricks? You already do them! Do 'em more and watch your guy melt into a puddle of marital bliss, which isn't nearly as messy as the potato-chip crumbs he's leaving on the couch right now. So listen up as guys reveal what we secretly want more of.

1. Little surprises
While there's nothing necessarily wrong with "Honey, I'm pregnant with quadruplets," this isn't the kind of little surprise we're talking about. But "Babe, I picked up a new pair of khakis for you" or "Sweetie, I got a babysitter for tonight so we can see a flick" definitely is. Besides getting a new pair of pants or a hot date out of the deal, we're reminded by a spontaneous gesture like this that you really dig us.

It also relieves our deepest fear: that now that we're married, all the fun and surprises are over. Even cutting out a newspaper article on our favorite film director can get us all cooey-gooey. Says Dan Linihan,* 32, a father of two: "The other day my wife saw a blue shirt from Ralph Lauren that she thought matched my eyes, so she bought it. It made me feel so good, because it let me know that I'm on her mind even when I'm not in front of her face."

When you spring little surprises on us -- whether it's buying us a sweet gift or taping The Sopranos when we're stuck at work late -- we feel loved. That said, big gestures work equally as well. If my wife is reading this: Honey, there is absolutely nothing wrong with picking up a new car on the way home either.

2. Unexpected touches
It's the greatest thing: We pop out of the shower in the morning, and as you shuffle past us, you hit us with a peck on the back of the neck. While Folgers coffee is pretty darn good, your gentle peck is really the best part of waking up. Yes, it's true: The slightest touch from you can bring your man to his knees in mid-sentence. "

Once I was rambling on and on about some problem at work when my wife reached over and touched my nose," says Richard Menecci, 33. "Then she gently traced the outline of my face with her finger, and as I looked into her eyes, my stress vanished. All I could think was, I have the most wonderful wife in the world. She didn't say a word; she just gave me a little touch."

Even those quick biceps rubs when we get back from the gym, or those errant shoulder squeezes at the supermarket, can send your man over the moon. It's as if out of the blue,you were so overcome by our breathtaking cuteness that you just had to give us a cuddle. Who wouldn't love that?

And men adore your tender touch in the bedroom as well. Because contrary to popular belief, guys aren't just looking for fast-track orgasmic maneuvers in the dark. They want, and need, hot drawn-out nights of passion just as much as you do. Just ask Gary Brown, 31, who has been married for three years. "

Sure, I like a spontaneous wild ride every now and again, but I love it when my wife forces me to put on the brakes and take my time," he explains. "In those moments, nothing matters except making each other feel good." David Copeland, an author of How to Succeed with Men, agrees. "

Men love to have things slowed down against their will," he says. "It's a simple equation: More time engaged in pleasure equals more pleasure. And having the action drawn out builds the anticipation, so the payoff is even more amazing."

What are some moves that are guaranteed to drive him wild? "Sometimes my wife kneels over me and lets her long, soft hair fall on my chest; then she slowly drags it all around my body," says Brown. "I could have gotten fired that day, my car could have been stolen, but when she does that, there is nothing on my mind but her."

3. Ego stroking
Know how pet trainers say you should pat your dog or cat on the head when they present you with a disgusting dead bird from the backyard? This is kind of the same thing: Guys often feel the need to be the Provider, the Man of the House, and whether we've succeeded in hanging a shelf or grilling a mean T-bone, we're in heaven when you give us that "you did a great job" peck on the cheek. "More than anything, your man wants to feel as if he's your hero," says Copeland. "He wants to feel like an excellent provider and protector.

"This philosophy goes back to cavemen," he continues. "The guy who brought home the dead bear was the one whose family survived. When a guy is praised for doing a testosterone-fueled task well, he feels worthy of your love." Sure, you may be as skilled with a monkey wrench as your Bob Vila wannabe -- if not more -- but a heartfelt "Great job, babe" will put him on top of the world (even if all he did was screw in a light bulb).

4. Veg time
You're both home from work. You're telling him about your day, and he's barely grunting responses as he deals his 15th game of solitaire on the computer. What's going on here? Is he ignoring you because he's a self-absorbed, uncaring bastard? Not exactly: "The number one thing women don't understand about men is that sometimes they need time to space out,"says Copeland. "

That's just the way he's wired. It doesn't mean that your guy doesn't want to spend time with you; it simply means he needs a few minutes to recharge." Ask Andrew Coppa, 33, who owns a photography studio: "My job is fast-paced, so I need 15 minutes or so to decompress when I come home. If my wife tries to talk to me right away, it's as if my brain is so fried that it can't take in additional information. Once I zone out in front of the TV or eat a snack, then I'm revived and ready to converse like a real human."

And guys don't crave these do-nothing moments only after work. We absolutely love it when you understand this admittedly bizarre behavior and leave us to our own devices as we pound peanuts and watch the game on the occasional Sunday or alphabetize our CDs after dinner.

And if you want in on a little secret: This is the perfect opportunity to strike a deal with us to get your own veg-out time. Want half an hour to yourself to read a magazine or soak in the tub after work? You got it. Just promise us you won't bring up refinancing the mortgage come kickoff time on Sunday.

5. Fashion policing
Why do we want to wear our favorite 10-year-old T-shirt out tonight?
Because we think it's cool and irreverent. Little do we realize that it makes us look like crap. As much as we hate to admit it, we desperately need your fashion help. And we're supergrateful when you give us a clue without sounding like Mom. How? "Tackle the subject in a calm,nonjudgmental way, pointing out why a certain pair of pants, say, doesn't go with those shoes," offers Alon Gratch, psychologist and author of If Men Could Talk: Translating the Secret Language of Men.

Another sneaky strategy: Compliment him like crazy when he's pulled together a decent outfit, says Gratch. That gives him something concrete to build on. Guys also appreciate it when you find an ego-sparing way to critique their clothes, says Julian Mathis, 28, a father of two. "My wife,Keenya, never acts as if she's concerned that I'm going to embarrass her,"he says. "It comes across as 'I'm trying to help you.' Or she'll point out someone who we laughed about in the mall who was dressed in a similar way:
That's usually enough to make me toss out the offending articles."

Of course, stroking his ego can be the smartest approach of all. If you tell your husband "That outfit is nice, but you look so hot when you wear the black pants with the gray shirt," it practically guarantees he will peel off whatever mismatched monstrosity he has wrapped himself in and will hop into the ensemble of your choosing.

6. Ogling
No matter how big it may have gotten in the past few years, we desperately hope to catch you checking out our ass. So do your guy a huge favor and treat him like a piece of meat more often. Look him up and down, whistle as he walks by, make purring noises when he rolls out of bed -- anything. Think of it as our favorite form of flattery.

7. You dressing sexy (but not just in bed)
Your guy thinks you are the sexiest, most beautiful woman on the planet,and he likes to see you show a little skin. (Okay, a lot of skin, but he'll gladly settle for a little.) Maybe not when you're headed off to church,but you get the idea. "

Sometimes when we're going out, my wife will put on something on the tight side that shows off her tummy, and I'll be breathing heavy before we even leave the house," confesses Robert Garretson, 32. "I'm a bit of the jealous type, but I have to admit that I love walking into a place and watching every guy, and even some of the ladies, check out my wife." The fact is, we feel pretty darn cool when it's obvious that we've scored the hottest babe in the room.

That doesn't mean your man wants you in ultratight minis all the time. When you flash just a hint of skin, it can be even more exciting. "Showing your neck by wearing your hair up, your shoulders in a loose blouse or your calves in a skirt with a slit can drive men wild," says Mitchell Tepper,Ph.D., president of Sexualhealth.com. "These are all very erotic areas, and glimpses of them will start a guy's fire simmering." And don't even get us started on the power of stilettos and black fishnet stockings!

8. You laughing (with us and even at us)
There is only one thing guys dread more than losing their hair: losing their sense of humor. Without it we are, well, our dads. Nothing makes us happier than when you help us remember that life isn't just about making the mortgage payments and picking up the car at the shop. As you probably know, men relate to their male friends with a never-ending series of one-liners from such groundbreaking films as Caddyshack and Bachelor Party.

But why should that fun be limited to our guy friends? We love to laugh and goof around with you, our best friend, just as much. Even when you do something as simple as call to share a funny inside joke or forward a hilarious email, it can make us inexplicably happy.

And if you really want to thrill your man, treat him like your own personal Jerry Seinfeld. See, all guys secretly strive to be the funniest guy in the room, and cracking you up gives them the ultimate high. Dan Galvez, 28, a father of three, agrees: "When we're out with friends, my wife will start telling a story about something funny that happened to us, then stop and say, 'Dan, you tell them. You tell it much funnier.' It's as if she's giving me the floor for an impromptu stand-up routine.

It's a total ego boost, as silly as that may seem." Yes, your giggles are gold to your guy,so yuk it up whenever you get the chance. Except, of course, when he's naked. Then the snickering isn't quite so appreciated. But seriously, we love putting a smile on your face, because what a man really wants more than anything is to know that he makes you, his sweet wife, the happiest woman on earth.