EVER WONDER

• Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

• Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
  
• Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
  
• Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
  
  
• Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
  
• Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
  
• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
  
  
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
  
• Why is the time of day with the slowest traff! ic called rush hour?
  
• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
  
  
• When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
  
• Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
  
• Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
  
  
• You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
  
• Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
  
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
  
• Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
  
  
• If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
  
• If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
  
• In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
  
  
• On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
  
• On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.detailsinside. (the shoplifter special)?
  
• On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?)
  
• On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
  
  
• On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down. "(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
  
• On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought? ???...)
  
• On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
  
• On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
  
  
• On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
  
• On most brands of Christmas light! s: "For indoor or outdoor use only." as opposed to...what)?
  
• On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
  
  
• On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
  
• On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
  
• On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
  
• On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
  

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