Looking Back ..."

(relationship) By Susie and Otto Collins

Otto once had a conversation with someone that he couldn't get out of his mind.
In this conversation Otto was telling this person about some challenges he was having in his life.

This person told him that a wise person once counseled him that when things in your life aren't making sense and you are confused and frustrated, to understand that when you get to the end of your life and look back, everything will make perfect sense.

We thought this was excellent advice for trying to understand your relationships as well. Sometimes we don't understand why we are involved with someone in a particular relationship or why a person has such a hold on us or "pushes our buttons".

We don't understand why some people have made a big impact on us even though they might have only been in our lives for a brief time. Because we met them, we were changed forever.

The point is that at the end of our lives, if we take a conscious look back at our relationships, every one of them will have served us in some way. It's also possible that many of our relationships have given us much more joy, happiness and comfort than we have previously thought.

Some time ago Otto met a woman who had a dramatic effect on his life. He didn't realize it at the time but later completely understood the purpose of that relationship. After the relationship with this person was over, they both completely understood that her role in his life was to be a bridge.

This relationship gave Otto the vision of what was truly possible in relationship that he wasn't able to experience with his first wife. Even though this relationship was very brief, had he not met this person, he would not have been ready to create the incredible relationship he now has with Susie.

So instead of looking at that relationship as a failure and one that didn't work, he looks at it as a blessing from God and is thankful everyday for what she gave him.

What we've learned is that if a relationship isn't working out, it may not be a bad thing or a failure that our society likes to label it. It just may be that you have learned what it is that you were supposed to learn by being in a relationship with that other person.

We're not suggesting that you take your relationships lightly and throw them away at the first sign of conflict. Quite the contrary.

What we are saying is that one of the purpose of relationships is to help us to heal, learn and grow—personally and spiritually. We also believe that we're here to experience joy and co-create with each other.

Even the relationships are most troubling to us can be gifts in learning more about ourselves. Those people who really get under our skin can be our best teachers.

So instead of looking at relationships that didn't work out the way we had hoped as failures, look at them as growth experiences and move forward consciously by learning from them.

Ask yourself--what did I learn about myself by being in a relationship with this other person? How did it help me to move forward and heal, learn and grow?

Know that every person who comes into your life--whether 5 minutes, 5 years or 50 years--can be a powerful teacher for you if you will only open yourself to the possibility.

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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are
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