joke collection – 162

just wonder

• I wonder....
  
• If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
  
• Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
  
  
• If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
  
• If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? hehehe......
  
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
  
  
• If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
  
• Why is it called building when it is already built?
  
• If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
  
  
• If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
  
• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
  
• If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this???
  
  ****
  

Secretary of State Powell and Secretary of Defence Rumsfeld were sitting in a bar outside the Nation's Capital. A regular customer walked in, ordered a drink, and then noticing the two officials sitting at the end of the bar asked the barman,

• "Say, isn't that Powell and Rumsfeld?"
  
• The barkeep replied, "Yep, that's them."
  
• A few drink later, the man walked over to the two and said, "Excuse me, but what are you guys doing here?"
  
• Donald Rumsfeld replied, "We're planning World War III"
  
• The man said, "Really? What's going to happen?"
  
  
• Colin Powel said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Iraqis and one bicycle repairman."
  
• "What?", the man exclaimed. "Why are you going to kill a bicycle repairman?"
  
• Rumsfeld turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would care about the 10 million Iraqis"
  

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