joke collection – 137

Dictionary

• Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
  
• Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  
• Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  
• Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
  
• Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  
• Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
  
• Optimist: A person who while falling from Eifel tower says in midway, "See I am not injured yet."
  
• Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
  
• Father: A banker provided by nature.
  
• Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
  
• Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
  
• Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
  
• Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
  
• Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece .
  
• Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power
  
• Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
  
• Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
  
• Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
  
• Ecstasy:
  A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have ever felt before.
  
• Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  
  
  

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