joke collection – 134

about drunk

• When I drink, everybody drink! yelled a man in the tavern as he summoned everyone to the bar.
  
• When he finished his whisky, he shouted again,"When I take another drink, everybody takes another drink!"
  
• Again, everybody gratefully drank up.
  
• When the man downed his second drink, he took two dollar bills out of his wallet and slapped them down on the bar.
  
• "When I pay," he bellowed, "Everybody pays!"
  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

• The lush staggered into the bar and asked for a jigger of whiskey and jigger of water.
  
• While the mystified bartender watched, the drunk reached into his vest pocket and produced a worm, which he dropped into the jigger of water.
  
• The worm swam contentedly around in the water.
  
• Then the lush took the worm out of the water and dropped it into the jigger of whiskey. Instantly, the worm began to wriggle frantically, and in a few short moments it was dead.
  
• "There!" roared the drunk triumphantly.
  
• "Did you see that?"
  
• it proves what I always thought - drink whiskey and you'll never have worm!"
  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

• John was having trouble with a drinking problem and swore that he would correct it with the will-power.
  
• He had decided to walk straight past the pub without going in.
  
• As he approached it he kept repeating to himself "you can do it. You can do it"
  
• The pressure was tough, but John presevered, right past he went.
  
• Fifty metres past and he congratulaed himself, "I knew you could do it. you were great. Let's go back and I'll buy you a drink.
  

____________________________________________________________

Indo community