"What (and Who) Are You Listening To..."

(relationship) by Susie and Otto Collins

For the last 30 years or so, the famous motivational speaker Zig Ziglar has said over and over "Everything that goes into your mind is going to come out..."

How this statement applies to your relationships is that every book you read, every movie you watch, the music and songs you listen to, and even the conversations you have with the people around you, all go into your mind. They affect you and your relationships greatly even though you may not realize it in each moment.

We were at a health, energy and spiritual retreat recently and singer, songwriter Greg Tamblyn was one of the entertainers. Greg did an entire set he called "Saving the world from whiny,victim love songs."

His purpose was not only to get us laughing and to entertain us, but also to bring to our attention the impact that song lyrics has on us and how the songs we listen to can unconsciously affect our behavior.

Consider The lines from the song "How Do I Live" that was performed by both Trisha Yearwood and LeAnn Rimes...

"If you ever leave baby you would take away everything good in my life and tell me now How do I live without you? I want to know How do I breathe without you?"

While this is a lovely song, it does give the message that we are not enough by ourselves and that we would simply stop breathing and cease to exist if this other person is not in our life.

Along the same lines, a couple of years ago, we watched a "Storytellers" special on VH1 that featured the musical artist Sting.

During the interview, Sting was asked about the song "Every breath you take" which a lot of people think is about love and romance. He told us that looking back on that time in his life,it was actually a very "dark" song about control and deceit since his long-term relationship was in the process of breaking up when he wrote it.

We found this pretty interesting since a lot of couples play this song at their wedding or wedding reception. In our way of thinking,a song about control and deceit is probably not the most empowering music to play at a wedding celebration.

Now, you might think that we're making a big deal out of nothing. But what we know to be true is that what we take in and embrace helps to create our inner beliefs and helps to form the foundation of how we treat other people and how we treat ourselves.

Many authors of what would be called classic success literature have talked about the impact, validity and power of watching what goes into your mind.

James Allen said in his book "As a Man Thinketh" --"As a man thinketh in his heart, So is he."

Earl Nightingale was the first personal growth author to ever sell a million copies of a recording of his classic work called the "Strangest Secret." In this recording, he says, "We become what we think about all day long."

We're not suggesting that you quit watching movies, listening to music or reading books for pure entertainment value. What we are encouraging you to do is to be more mindful and conscious of how everything around you affects who you are and how you relate to other people.

For example, if you find yourself singing along to a catchy song on the radio, ask yourself if the song you're singing is disempowering or empowering for you in your life.

So, this week we encourage you to be more mindful and conscious of what you allow to go into your mind. It's been our experience that creating a great relationship is much more easily done when you are feeding yourself with things that are positive and powerful instead of things that could have a potentially negative effect on you and your relationships.

One of the questions that we continually ask ourselves and each other is "Will this bring us closer together or move us further apart?"

One of the things that will help you to create closer, more connected and more loving relationships is focusing on what is empowering, uplifting and feeds the Soul in your life.

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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are
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