joke collection – 172

Italiano Tourist

The Italiano tourist wrote a complain letter to the manager Hotel in London.

The manager Y.M.C.A Hotel London, England

Dear Signor Diretorre,
Now I am tella you the story how I was treated at your hotella. I am comma from Palermo as tourist to london and stay as a young a man at your hotella.

When I comma in my room I see is no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed?
I calla down the receptione and tella: "I wanna shit". They tella me: "Go to the toillett".
I say: "no, no, I wanna shit in my bed"
They say: "You betta not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch".
What is sonnawabitch?!

I go down for ristorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of toast, I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and points of toast:
"I wanna piss". She tella me: "Go to the toillett"
I say: "No, No, I wanna piss on my plate"
She then say to me: "you bloddy fella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch"

Secon person who do not even know me and calls me sonnawabitch!
What is sonnawabitch?

Later I go dinner into ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out but no fock.
I tella waitress: "I wanna fock",
and she tella me: "sure everybody wanna fock"
I tella her: "no, no, you don't understand me. I wanna fock on the table".
She then tella me: "So you sonnawabitch, wanna fock on the table? Got your
ass out of here"

So I go to the receptione and ask for the bills. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more. When I have pay the bills, the porter say to me: "Thank you and peace on you"
I say: "piss on you too, you sonnawabitch"
I go back to Italy! I never more comma stay in your hotella, you sonnawabitch.

Stupid Italiano

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs agent stops them and tells them:
"It's illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro. "
" What do you mean it's illegal? " asked the Englishmen.
" Quattro means four " replies the Italian official.
" Quattro is just the name of the automobile, " the Englishmen retort disbelievingly.
" Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons. "
" You can't pull that one on me, " replies the Italian customs agent.
" Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law ".
The Englishmen replies angrily, " You idiot! Call your supervisor over. I want to speak to someone with more intelligence! "
" Sorry, " responds the Italian official, " he can't come. He's busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno. "





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