joke collection – 120

Men are Like....

Men are like...coffee,
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like... chocolate bars,
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like.... government bonds,
They take so long to mature.

Men are like.... blenders,
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like.... computers,
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like.... mascara,
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like.... parking spots,
The good ones are usually taken.

Men are like.... bank machines,
Once they withdraw they lose interest.

Men are like.... laxatives,
They irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like.... newborn babies,
They're cute at first, but you get tired of cleaning up their crap.

Men are like.... crystal,
Some look real good, but you can still see right through them.

Men are like.... bananas,
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like.... popcorn,
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like.... snow storms,
You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they will last.

Men are like.... floor tiles,
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

Men are like.... bank accounts,
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like.... commercials,
You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like.... coolers,
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like.... copiers,
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like.... dry cleaners,
Most work fast and leave no ring.

Men are like.... curling irons,
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Men are like.... high heels,
They're easier to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.... horoscopes,
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like.... lava lamps,
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like.... place mats,
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like.... used cars,
Both are easy-to-get, cheap and unrealiable.



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