joke collection – 37

The BARBER
There is this good old barber in some city in the US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.

An Indonesian software engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber! after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The Indonesian software engineer is happy and leaves. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there...

Can you guess?
Do you know the answer yet?
Come on, think like an Indonesian...

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"THE RULES"
Lets get the rules straight for a relationship between a man and a woman.

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
   
2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.
   
3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.
   
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change THE RULES.
   
5. The Female is never wrong.
   
6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.
   
7. If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
   
8. The Female can change her mind at any time.
   
9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of The Female.
   
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
    
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
    
12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.
    
13. The male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.
    
14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, and not what she said.
    
15. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.
    
16. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.
    
17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.
    
18. Every house belongs to the oldest Female living there.
    

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the prince and the curse

Once upon a time there was a prince who, through no fault of his own,was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words.

One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say "my darling". But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).

But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.
Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.

Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"
The princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear,opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said: "Pardon?"
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